SELF-CRITICISM & COMPLACENCY: TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN
Hey everyone! How’s it going? Today I want to share some thoughts on two tendencies I often observe when working with players, and how these can hinder their professional development and well-being: self-criticism and complacency.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying that being self-critical or complacent is always bad. Finding the right balance between these two is key for growth. To better understand this balance, let’s examine what each one means and when they can become harmful.
Self-Criticism
Many people associate the word “criticism” with something negative. However, criticism doesn’t have to be a bad thing. The ability to analyze ourselves, identify mistakes, and receive feedback can be very constructive. It helps us pinpoint areas for improvement and evaluate our strategies for continued growth.
When Does Self-Criticism Become Maladaptive?
Self-criticism becomes maladaptive when our inner dialogue turns harsh and constant. Insulting ourselves or experiencing intense emotions (like fear, sadness, or demotivation) after a mistake prevents us from learning and moving forward. It’s important to remember that emotions themselves are not good or bad, but rather they can be pleasant or unpleasant. The key is to learn how to regulate them.
To better visualize this, imagine living with someone who constantly insults and criticizes you. Now imagine that person is you, and that critical voice is your own inner dialogue. This kind of negativity breeds anxiety, frustration, and insecurity, making us terrified of making mistakes. At this point, self-criticism damages our well-being and performance.
When is Self-Criticism Adaptive?
Self-criticism, when used as an objective self-assessment of our performance, can provide valuable information for improvement. It’s about analyzing what happened with a clear head, and recognizing areas for improvement without beating ourselves up. The goal is to use self-criticism as a tool for progress, not punishment.
For effective self-criticism:
Choose the right time: During a tournament, it’s better to focus on competing and analyze mistakes calmly afterward.
Be aware of your motivations: Ask yourself if you truly want to improve in that specific area. Self-criticism is unnecessary when there’s no real desire for change.
Accept your limitations: We can’t be good at everything. Choosing our battles allows us to use self-criticism more adaptively, avoiding burnout and anxiety.
Complacency
Complacency, that feeling of satisfaction and contentment we experience when we achieve something, is often perceived negatively. It’s associated with a lack of self-criticism and comfort with the status quo, which can hinder our growth. However, just like self-criticism, complacency is not inherently good or bad. The key lies in how we manage it.
When is Complacency Maladaptive?
Complacency can trap us in our comfort zone, leading to resistance to change and a lack of ambition. If we’re completely satisfied with our current situation, why would we strive for more or seek new challenges? This attitude can put us on autopilot, where we miss opportunities and stagnate. Complacency, by avoiding mistakes and effort, may seem convenient in the short term, but in the long run, it limits our growth.
An example of negative complacency is when we ignore recurring mistakes in one area of our life, justifying it with achievements in other areas. In this way, we use complacency to avoid the effort required to make positive changes.
Examples:
The poker player: They settle for mediocre results and don’t seek to improve, hiding behind the excuse that “poker is just a hobby.”
The entrepreneur: They launch a product without proper testing, relying on past successes and ignoring warning signs.
The person in a toxic relationship: They refuse to see reality and make changes, justifying it with “having a good life in other aspects.”
In these cases, complacency hinders personal growth and well-being.
When is Complacency Adaptive?
While constantly striving for personal growth is valuable, it’s also true that we need moments to enjoy our achievements and live in the present without pressure. Recognizing our progress, even if it’s not what we expected, allows us to appreciate our efforts and connect with satisfaction.
Additionally, complacency can be a useful tool for managing stress. Constantly pushing ourselves can be exhausting, and sometimes we need to prioritize our well-being and recharge. Allowing ourselves a break and enjoying the satisfaction of our accomplishments can be a healthy strategy.
Examples:
The poker player: After a long series of tournaments, they decide to take a break. Instead of obsessing over improving their game, they allow themselves to enjoy free time with family and friends, recharging for the next competition.
The entrepreneur: After reaching a significant milestone in their business, they take a vacation to enjoy their success and reconnect with themselves.
Conclusion
Maladaptive self-criticism and complacency are two sides of the same coin. Both can generate intense emotions, whether pleasant or unpleasant, that end up hindering our growth, distorting our reality, and affecting our emotional well-being.
It’s important to remember that self-criticism and complacency are not inherently good or bad. Their impact depends on how we manage them, which is influenced by our belief system, emotional intelligence, and life experiences.
I hope this article has given you tools to reflect on your own experiences with self-criticism and complacency. If you identify with any of the examples or situations described, I encourage you to seek support and start working on these aspects to improve your well-being and reach your full potential.