THE POKER PLAYER’S SELF-CHECK-IN ROUTINE

Welcome back! In this blog post, we’ll explore a familiar concept—emotional intelligence—and introduce a practical tool to help you develop it: self-check-ins.

Developing our emotional intelligence is a journey, not a race. It takes time to understand our own emotions, how they influence us, and how to recognize and understand the emotions of others.

An important part of developing emotional intelligence is learning to connect with ourselves. This involves understanding our own emotions and internal states, a skill often shaped by our early relationships with parental figures. Just as we might check in with a friend, we can also turn inwards and ask ourselves how we’re truly feeling. However, this can be more challenging, as many of us weren’t taught to prioritize self-reflection.

While our childhood experiences play a role, we can absolutely develop this skill as adults. It requires conscious effort and attention. Learning to understand and recognize our emotions is crucial for our well-being and quality of life.

Years ago, talking about emotions was taboo, especially for men. Expressing feelings was often equated with weakness, and those who did were judged as lacking character. Women, too, faced criticism for being “too emotional.” This created a negative stigma around emotions, impacting mental health, which, ironically, was also a topic to be avoided.

Fortunately, in recent years (especially after the 2020 pandemic and its impact on mental health), emotions are no longer something to hide or be ashamed of. People are encouraged to talk openly about their feelings, to be vulnerable. Emotions are finally being recognized as a natural part of who we are. This marks significant progress in the field of mental health and overall well-being.

Now that we’ve opened the door to discussing emotions without judgment, let’s introduce the tool itself. I wanted to share this because I believe it can be useful for many players.

It’s completely normal to experience a range of emotions and internal states while playing, which can affect your performance — both positively and negatively. These internal states can sometimes make it difficult to say “enough” and end an unproductive session.

Believe me, I’ve heard countless stories from players who continued playing despite being in a negative internal state and ended up regretting it.. They always reflect that they should have stopped earlier.

When our emotional state isn’t optimal, our performance and decision-making suffer. But what if we could learn to end those sessions sooner, reducing the impact of losses?

Welcome the self-check-in, a valuable tool that will help you say “enough” and take control of your poker journey.

Before we dive into the process, I want to emphasize the importance of honesty. The effectiveness of this tool depends entirely on how honest you are with yourself. This also means taking responsibility and committing to the process, even when you’re feeling good.

Here’s the truth: if you only use this tool when you’re feeling down or losing, it won’t be as effective. Like anything in life, this tool requires practice. The more you use it, the better you’ll become at recognizing your internal state and deciding on the best course of action.

I understand that as a poker player, time is often limited. Asking you to write pages about how you feel might make the process seem daunting. That’s why I want to introduce a simple yet powerful system: the Flag System.

The Flag System

I’ll present the key areas to analyze during your self-check-in, along with a guide on how to categorize them using a simple flag system:

• 🟩 Green Flag: All good! You’re feeling great and ready to play your best.

• 🟨 Yellow Flag: Some minor issues that might require attention or adjustments to your strategy.

• 🟥 Red Flag: Significant issues that could seriously impact your performance. Consider postponing your session or ending it early.

We’ll analyze two main categories: Body and Mind.

Physiology (Your Body)

Muscle Tension:

🟥 Red Flag: Significant tension or stiffness in multiple areas. Feeling your body very tight, makes it difficult to relax.

🟨 Yellow Flag: Mild tension in one or two areas (e.g., neck, shoulders). You can relax with some effort, but the tension keeps returning.

🟩 Green Flag: Muscles feel relaxed and loose. You feel comfortable and at ease in your body.

Energy Levels:

🟥 Red Flag: Feeling exhausted, drained, or very low on energy. Struggling to stay awake or focused.

🟨 Yellow Flag: Energy levels are okay, but not ideal. You might feel a bit sluggish or tired. A nap or caffeine might be needed.

🟩 Green Flag: Feeling energized, alert, and ready to go. You have plenty of mental and physical stamina.

General State:

🟥 Red Flag: Feeling unwell, sick, or in pain. Experiencing any physical discomfort that significantly affects your focus.

🟨 Yellow Flag: Minor aches, pains, or slight discomfort that you can mostly ignore. It might affect you slightly, but you can still play.

🟩 Green Flag: Feeling healthy and strong. No physical issues are affecting your ability to play your best.

Mental State (Your Mind)

Inner Dialogue:

🟥 Red Flag: Dominated by negative and self-critical thoughts. You’re constantly putting yourself down or focusing on past mistakes.

🟨 Yellow Flag: Some negative thoughts creep in, but you can usually redirect them. You have moments of self-doubt but also some positive self-talk.

🟩 Green Flag: Your inner dialogue is mostly positive and supportive. You focus on your strengths and approach challenges with confidence.

Emotions:

🟥 Red Flag: Overwhelmed by strong negative emotions like anxiety, anger, or frustration. Feeling emotionally unstable or on tilt.

🟨 Yellow Flag: Experiencing some mild negative emotions, but you’re able to manage them. You might feel a bit stressed or anxious, but it’s manageable.

🟩 Green Flag: Feeling calm, composed, and in control of your emotions. You’re able to stay focused and make rational decisions even under pressure.

Impulses:

🟥 Red Flag: Strong urges to make impulsive decisions, deviate from your strategy, or chase losses. Feeling out of control.

🟨 Yellow Flag: You notice some impulsive urges, but you’re able to resist them most of the time. You might feel tempted to gamble, but you can usually control yourself.

🟩 Green Flag: You’re in control of your impulses and able to stick to your game plan. You make deliberate, calculated decisions.

Mindset:

🟥 Red Flag: Unrealistic expectations, overly focused on results, or feeling desperate to win. Playing with fear or a sense of urgency.

🟨 Yellow Flag: Your mindset is generally good, but you might have some doubts or anxieties. You’re focused on playing well but also a bit concerned about the outcome.

🟩 Green Flag: You have a positive and realistic mindset. You’re focused on the process, enjoying the game, and accepting whatever the outcome may be.

Important: This is just a starting point. As you become more self-aware, you can personalize the system by adding or adjusting symptoms for each flag. You’ll learn what “red,” “yellow,” and “green” truly mean for you.

Understanding the Red Flags

A red flag indicates a significant issue that needs your attention. It’s a strong sign that you might not be in the right state to continue playing, either physically or mentally. Multiple red flags are a serious warning sign, and many are interconnected.

General Rule:

• One Red Flag: Take action. Either stop playing if possible or reduce your volume and avoid registering for new tournaments.

• Multiple Red Flags: This signals a need for immediate attention. With practice, you’ll learn to identify the symptoms earlier and make smarter decisions.

Remember, this is a tool for self-awareness and growth. The more you use it, the better equipped you’ll be to navigate the challenges of poker and perform at your best.

Our primary goal with this self-check-in tool is to develop our emotional intelligence and learn to make the right decisions at the right times. It’s about recognizing when we’re not in the optimal state to continue playing and learning to say “enough.” This ability to step back and assess ourselves honestly is the key benefit.

Regular self-check-ins offer a wealth of benefits for poker players beyond this core goal. By consistently taking a moment to assess your physical and mental state, you gain valuable self-awareness, recognizing patterns in your energy levels, emotions, and thought processes. This heightened awareness allows you to identify when you’re truly primed for peak performance and when you might need to adjust your approach, preventing tilt, impulsive decisions, and costly errors.

Furthermore, understanding your internal state empowers you to make more rational, strategic decisions at the table. By recognizing early signs of tilt, such as frustration or anxiety, you can regain control and avoid emotional decisions. This increased emotional regulation, coupled with stress management techniques, fosters resilience to the inevitable ups and downs of poker.

Ultimately, being in tune with your body and mind leads to a more enjoyable and fulfilling experience. You can approach the game with greater focus and presence, reducing frustration by understanding your limitations and adjusting your expectations. This continuous self-reflection encourages a growth mindset, allowing you to view challenges as opportunities for learning and improvement. By actively addressing both your physical and mental game, you become a more well-rounded and adaptable player, which in turn allows you to feel more connected to your performance and consciously build the performance you desire.

Before we wrap up, I’d love to share this helpful document with you. It’s a template you can copy and use for your own self-check-ins.

In the first tab, you’ll find everything you need to conduct the self-check-in:

• The first column is for the date.

• The following columns correspond to each subcategory (you’ll see the initials of each category in the first row).

• The last column is for adding any comments you wish.

In the second tab, you’ll find the descriptions of each category along with their initials for easy reference.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1nGz0zoeu6EQIm3iPlhPjQEq2bqhTlX4d_qUd04aaT_I/edit?usp=sharing

In conclusion, developing emotional intelligence is a journey of self-discovery that requires us to connect with ourselves on a deeper level. It’s about understanding our emotions, recognizing how they influence us, and learning to manage them effectively.

This process can be challenging, especially in a world that hasn’t always been receptive to open discussions about emotions. Fortunately, we’re witnessing a positive shift towards greater acceptance and understanding of the importance of emotional well-being.

The self-check-in tool presented in this blog is a practical step towards cultivating emotional intelligence. By regularly assessing our physical and mental state, we can make more informed decisions, avoid costly mistakes, and ultimately, enhance our performance and overall well-being.

Remember, this is a journey of self-improvement, and progress takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself, practice self-compassion, and celebrate your successes along the way. By prioritizing our emotional health, we not only improve our poker game but also enrich our lives both on and off the felt.

Disclaimer

This self-check-in tool is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing significant emotional distress or mental health concerns, please seek the assistance of a qualified healthcare professional.

The author and publisher of this blog are not responsible for any adverse effects or consequences resulting from the use of this tool. It is essential to practice self-awareness and seek professional support when needed.